Easy Silence
by MerylJane
Summary: Effy and Freddie communicate after Freddie's episode.


Disclaimer: Owning Skins would be quite amazing. I so wish I did, but, alas . . .

A/N: So this (obviously) isn't something that's ever going to happen, but after watching Freddie's episode I wanted it to happen so badly that I made it happen. So . . . Please review this because it's sort of suckish. and more than a tad out of character, I feel certain. I'm still getting a feel for Freddie's character, so input would be just lovely. Oh, and, I'm sorry I don't have much swearing like at all. I'm not good at that because I'm such a little goody-goody. I'll try to work on it.

Easy Silence

I could not sleep. I couldn't. Every time my eyes closed, all I could see was Cook. All I could see was Cook with her. Cook in her room, touching her, kissing her.

Effy.

I thought I had gotten through to her. Finally. We could be. _Be._ We could be _together_.

Well, it turned out she had been right at first. About breaking my heart. Effy was always right. She was bloody breaking my heart and we weren't even together. Well, not really. But, that kiss . . .

I stood up. It was late, probably two-thirty or so. But it wasn't like I'd been out with people or anything. I'd just been home. In my room, not sleeping. Strangely, I didn't turn on a light. It was dark, but it seemed just bright enough to make out my surroundings. There was a beam, a very dull one . . . coming from_ somewhere_.

Where was that coming from?

I searched for the illumination. It was in the garden, outside my window. _Oh, lovely. It's bloody _her.

_I'm not going outside, I'm not going outside. She deserves to feel alone. Be rejected._

She was smoking and staring at the fire from her lighter; that's what was creating the light. I couldn't stop looking at her. I could barely see her; it was so dark. I wanted to just ignore her. But I couldn't look away.

An hour passed. She wasn't moving. I think she had seen me, through the window, but she didn't seem to try and acknowledge me. It was nearly four a.m.

She hadn't moved, and I couldn't take it. I was going down there and I was going to give her a piece of my mind. I snuck quickly out of my house.

"Effy!" I said loudly, almost scraeming, before I remembered that waking up my dad would not be wise right now, considering how unstable our relationship was.

"I'm sorry, Freddie," she told me, looking more like a human than I imagine Effy Stonem ever had. Well, except when she had kissed me the other day. Accidentally, I had turned on a motion-activated light on the shed, so I could finally see her properly. The way she looked right now, so like a person . . . I got a strange satisfaction from making her look that way.

_Nobody breaks my heart_, she had said. Well, that was too right. Nobody affected her heart at all.

Having that authority, that power, over her heart would be so wonderful.

But, no, it wasn't about having power. Well, at least I thought it wasn't about that. But I was foolish for thinking it could be about something more than power. Something more tangible.

Something like love.

The thought made me laugh, though dryly, at my own naïveté, and Effy gave me a curious, _worried_ look. Remembering my anger, I spat, "What are you doing here? In _my _garden?"

"Couldn't sleep," she replied simply, being Effy.

"Does Effy Stonem _ever_ actually sleep at night?" I asked, trying to be clever or sarcastic but finding myself genuinely curious. She shrugged lightly in response, noncommittal.

That's what she was. Noncommittal.

"Why?" was all I could bring myself to say. I was standing away from her, about two meters, enjoying being the distant one. For once.

"You know, I used to not speak at all. For ages. Well, I'd talk to my brother sometimes. And then he got hit by a bus and I just . . . I don't know. Started talking again. Sometimes I think the silence was easier. It made it easier to control things, life." She spoke in the passive tone she tends to use for almost everything, particularly things normal people would say with great emotion.

This information intrigued me. Effy used to not speak. And her brother had been hit by a bus. And I knew her parents were crap.

Suddenly, I wanted to provide comfort. To hug her, to hold her.

Instead, I took another step back.

"Ef, that's all really great and all, but . . . come on. I thought . . . I thought when you kissed me, you, like, you meant it. We were on the same page. And now, Cook again. _I mean, what goes on in your twisted mind, Effy?_ Because I don't think it's that you're cruel or anything. Just selfish, I guess," I told her slowly and she nearly looked like she agreed with me. "And, I wanted to be with you. And you really made out like you wanted me too."

The humanlike quality, as much as she fought it, was shining through again.

"Freddie," Effy said, walking toward me. I didn't like where this was going. She was too close. She kissed me fiercely and my arms were all over her and I could see what she meant about not speaking being easier.

It was easier. And so much more enjoyable.

But . . .

I tore away from her lips, because I had definitely been kissing her back. "Damn it, Effy!" I gasped. Through the silence that followed, I tried to convey with my eyes that she _had_ to talk to me.

There was a long pause, but she didn't make any move from my arms. "I didn't . . ." she began, her eyes gleaming. "I don't know how to be _with_ someone. The only person I've ever loved at all is my brother, I think. And it's just easier for me to mess around with Cook than to do this," she gestured between us. "It makes more sense. I hurt people. That's what I do."

These words were out of character, but she was still _so Effy._

I swallowed. "And no one hurts you, then? Is that just a convenient effect?" My hand held her face and I tried, as I had with my voice, to make it soft. I wondered if she even knew what soft was supposed to feel like, if she'd know the difference. "Effy, I guess everything that's easy isn't always good, you know? But, still, I think we'd be pretty easy. I mean, this is easy enough, isn't it?"

"Easiest thing I've ever done," she said, her voice full of beautiful sarcasm.

"What's the worst thing that could happen, anyway?" I asked, then added, "And you've already broken my heart once, so you can't use that as an excuse again."

"Funny," she said dryly as she wrapped her arms around me.

_Since when did Effy Stonem know how to hug?_

A/N: So ahahahahaha.....please review this lovely piece of rubbish.


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